Before the ends of most of our lives, the majority of us will become parents. This truth has been dawning on me slowly but surely for some time now, leaving me with fewer and fewer excuses to avoid the issue. Even last week, while watching the children's movie Matilda and attempting to relive my childhood, I could not help but notice the young Mara Wilson's precocious buttons and ribbons in her hair, imagining a daughter of mine skipping off to school dressed like her. But, I have always been a stubborn one, and so, here is my most recent reasoning as to why I am still unprepared to be a mother:
I do not have enough spices in my spice rack to be a Mother.
No really. I'm serious. A mom always know what spices to buy ahead of time so that whenever she's cooking, or whenever she asks her lovely visiting recent-college-grad daughter to cook during her weekend home, there is always that little container of ground cumin hidden waaaay in the back of the pantry that's fallen off of the already fully stocked Lazy Susan. Whenever I try to look up a new recipe online, I have to run to Publix next door for a few random items that I would never anticipate needing. I mean, who normally keeps fresh basil leaves in their house JUST IN CASE they randomly decide to be whimsical and whip up some pesto for dinner?!?
And furthermore, bandaids. I currently have a box in my medicine cabinet with 2 remaining. And they are those big awkward kinds that are only good for roller-blading accidents, not minor paper cuts like my baby might encounter! I mean, these bandages are too big for my minor nicks with a razor, let alone a tiny person!
And just now, my roommate asked for hydrocortisone cream. Who thinks to buy that stuff? But if I had a kid, they would be pretty likely to find a random fire ant hill and need some. And who has the time to run out to Walgreens impromptu when they have a crying kid on their hands?! This is way too stressful. I am not ready for all this stress. Even speculating worries me.
Quote of the Day:
Kate's Mom: Not all of us are as supportive of your alternative lifestyle.
Kate: Being single is NOT an alternative lifestyle, Mother.
--Baby Mama
